Blog Post

“What I've written seems a little bit too neat, it feels a little sloppier on the inside”....Those were my words when I asked coach to look at my blog post before I posted it. And that really sums up how I feel about some awareness that’s coming around. I’ve never asked anyone to look at my blogs before I post them. I don’t want to change my words based on someone else’s opinion. I see blogs as thoughts, not right or wrong, but a demonstration of where one is at a given point in time. Getting feedback after I post helps me process through those thoughts and see them in different lights and from different angles, revealing to me new insights. But, sometimes I wonder how honest I am with myself when I write. Below is a mix of honesty and self talk. My thoughts and experiences below leave me feeling a bit out on a limb with my ego-remember Walter? There he is...

talking loudly. I started this blog last weekend while keeping up with the TNF 50 and it has evolved from there….

Hike or run, hike or run...after watching the TNF 50 unfold on twitter, between seeing patients, I was seeing pictures come through on the feed and I could feel the dirt, smell the air and feel my own heart pumping. Here in the photo on the left from IRF is winner Magdalena Boulet. I was dying to get my feet on trail and run! I’d been looking forward all week to getting on the trails again, it’s been over 5 weeks now. My body is still healing from recent surgery, and although I am enjoying the rest and recovery, at times I am overcome with the burning desire to get out and run!  I also know that once I start training again, I’m going to reaaaally miss these easy days. An awareness has settled in as the past couple of months have unfolded. An awareness stepping back from, or out of my passion for a time, along with life events brought. It’s hard to have perspective in the midst of passion... be it passion in work, in running, or even in relationships.

I ended this season of racing with mixed emotions. I was able to get out and run in amazing places, testing the waters to see if I really liked mountain running...and oh do I ever! But, I was frustrated with outcomes, my finishing times/placing. That’s not what I wanted my racing to be about. I would never have admitted it, but my racing was as much about the finish line as about the experience, and my self worth was dependent on how well I finished. I was embarrassed that I didn’t do as well as I thought I should in the series. I felt I had disappointed myself, my family, my coach. I shoulda done better.

The whirlwind of this summer’s racing, in particular the fact that my self worth was so tied up in my performance and finish time, the loss of my mother-in-law to aggressive cancer, and my own close encounter with the potentially lethal diagnosis and current post op complications that have the serious potential of keeping me from running even longer.….breath...and a move to Arizona in just a few weeks has made the past few months, well, interesting. It has also shaken me down a bit emotionally. There is something good and almost magical churning inside of me through this. When I found myself in a place with so many things stacked up,  where I couldn’t possibly process through or control the outcomes (the absurd delusion of control)...I let go...whoosh...and felt what it was like to live in the moment. This led me to the absolute opposite of what I anticipated....peace. I became fully present in the present, in the moment. An amazing place no one could sweet talk me in to. No urging or cajoling me to "let go and live in the now" could have brought me here.  Combine that with a true realization of where my drive to “know” comes from...

Hmmm….self esteem....3 months ago I would have scoffed if you suggested I had low self esteem. I would have touted, “look what I have done!” ….and on the inside be ashamed. My self worth was tied up in my accomplishments, or lack thereof..in running and life. And the unfortunate thing is no accomplishment was good enough. I could have always been faster or somehow pushed harder in a race here or there, and in life, well, smarter, wittier, prettier and the list goes on and on.

This peace, this in-the-moment peace was a place, a feeling I first found in the mountains of Colorado. Surrounded by the magnificence, thin air, and beauty that surrounded me. And even more intensely, running in the mountains seemed to bring me more fully present and aware. Like a drug I was addicted. I thought I was addicted to the Mountains, to that physical place. It is now, 3 years later, In a whirlwind of uncertainty, I understand it was not the physical place that called me, it was that place inside of me that called. But can I continue in that place if I can’t run? I would love to be able to say “yes of course”, but I don’t know...heh, and I can’t know.

As it says in the photo below, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone"

Almost forgot about this brilliant community hub, not that  I have forgotten what I have learnt from the Cool impossible though..... still running, still watching the foot strike, leg stance etc......... I feel amazing. 

I am no ultra runner, nor am I fast or super fit.....I don't care......well I say that, I have my aspirations of running a 50 miler in 2016 if my plan works out. Until then, I am just enjoying the run with the dogs, out on the moors and the fields, along canal paths and over the most breathtaking hills and mountains here in the UK. I run most often in fell running shoes. Walsh fell running shoes to be more specific. Love them. I really like my B2R trainers too but where I run, in the mud and the rain, along half worn sheep's paths and slippy trails, my Walsh trainers do the job brilliantly. If only my B2R's had the grip and tread of the Walsh's........ my dream shoe. 

So, despite all the off roading, I ran a road half marathon on the 26th October...... 1:52:44. Pleased with that. I wasn't first, I wasn't last. I didn't get injured, I sprinted the last 200 meters after 1.5 miles of steep incline. Chuffed. 

Where next? 20 miles of off road running race in Wiltshire, England on the 15th of March 2015. The best bit is, I can run with my happy super fit dog by my side. Awesome. He can take some of the glory for getting through the tough times, over the many miles and he is always up for a run. Love him. 

My boy Quinn.

So there I was, my whole life hanging on my ability to shave 40-some seconds off of my 1.5 mile run in 7 days.  For me, this would be as easy as juggling bubbling lava while quoting The Bard in the "original" Cantonese.  Yeah, it's just like that.  My new shoes still felt new.  My new running watch had two runs saved to memory and I was seriously wondering if I had the mental capacity to walk and chew gum (or run and remember how to operate the watch) at the same time.  This was about the most stressed I had ever felt in my life.  I moved from one state to another for this job, then moved my family and sold my house.  Me, my wife, her cat and my Macaw were living in my 5th-wheel in the sticks.  It's tight living, y'all.  Hell, my mother in law even moved next to us in her own camper.  No pressure. 

My boss was calling nearly every day to...ahem..."encourage" me.  Extended family was calling every day to wish me luck and as about "Plan B".  My instructors, from the top dog all the way to the most junior guy took turns taking me aside each day to ask me if I was ready for the run, and if I thought I would make it.  The other student's in the class took their turns at me, as well.  All of that attention made me humble, angry, frustrated, a bit scared, determined, encouraged, unworthy...pissed.

Thus, Friday morning, the last day of the 11th week of this course dawned bright, humid, just a little cool and completely terrifying.  I drove straight to the track, and got there before anybody else.  I kept a sharp eye out for one of my classmates; she was going to pace me and call me a "little bitch" if I slowed.  She was nowhere to be seen.  The instructor/timer pulled into the gate a few minutes later, but my pacer was still a no-show.  The other guy running for time arrived, but he was so fast that when he slows at the end of a run, he triggers sonic booms.  I definitely wasn't going to be able to run in his footsteps.  I was starting to feel very small, but since I have a certain ingrained aversion to quitting, I jumped out of my truck.  I put on my War Face and headed for the track.  I may not feel fast, but I tried to LOOK like I was going to kick this run in the butt.

Mr Mach 2 and I stretched out a little on the track.  Our collective breaths were fogging the air before us.  When the Timer said it was time to rock, we took our places.  Mr Mach 2 took lane one, I looked down at lane number "this is your freekin' whole life; your dreams riding on the next six laps"...er...lane #2. "GO!"

I went.  I concentrated on proper form.  I kept a too-fast for comfort pace for the first two laps.  Mr Mach 2 lapped me.  I lost lap count at somewhere between crossing the line on lap two until I was informed that I was completing lap four.  I got lapped again.  Timer told me to speed up a little.  Lap five found me breathing heavy, but as well as I ever had during a timed run.  I had a rhythm going.  I flashed back to some of the nice stuff y'all said to me.  I chastised myself for not being faster.  I wondered if I could have possibly worked harder to make this all easier.  I...Mr Mach 2 appeared at my side.  "It's time to kick this bastard in the ass, Yogi", he said.  He told me to run with him, stretch out, drive the knees, leave it all on the track.  I ran in his foot steps.  I ran faster than I felt capable of.  My breathing was still in time to my foot strikes (what was THAT all about?!).  About two hundred yards from the finish line, Mach 2 said "Go-Go-GO!"  Say what?!  This was a full 100 yards early screamed my mind.  I went.  I'm not certain where it came from, but I found another gear, and about 75 yards out, I found another.  I think my breathing stopped about 25 yards out.  I crossed the line with my chin up, chest and hips square, legs churning, arms pumping and knew I had given it my all, even though I had come up short of making my time.

That's when Mr Timer told me that I had finished one second UNDER my drop-dead time.  I puked on the football field, and fell to my knees; or maybe it was the other way around.

I think I can come clean now.  After that run, getting shot with simunitions, bit by dogs, pepper-sprayed and Tased were child's play.  It was all worth it.  I graduated with the rest of my class; graduated from the toughest police academy in my state! 

I'm still just as old, but I'm faster and less fat.  I took a couple of weeks off from running so I could wrap my arms around the tornado that life had become, but hit the road again a few days ago.  My first run was two miles.  Yesterday, I did four.  Tomorrow is speed work down at the High School. 

:::stands::: Hello, my Name Is Allen "Yogi" Rothery, and I'm a TCI runner!

Bad Boys; Bad Boys; What'cha gunna' do when Yogi comes chasing you?!

“It hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse.”

~ Ann Trason ~

First in Reverse or Last Mule to the Barn

Yesterday I ran my first 25K trail run. It was a race for some, but for me it was a run with the intention of working on my mental attitude when things get tough. To be completely honest I should have done more long runs in my training; nevertheless, I had a decent base to accomplish my goal of finishing without getting frustrated.

Before the race started I was talking with my wife and Bob about how many really good runners were in this race. It was clear that they were going to push the front of the pack along. I joked that they would be home showered with their feet up when I finished and I hoped not to be last but if I was, so be it. I received some advice from Eric Orton to be patient for the first 20K and try to blast the last 5K. So why not give it a try.

The start came and I held back because I did not want to get caught up in the initial push. We headed up Sander’s Mound and back down knowing that this would have to be done again at the end of the race. For the first few miles I settled into a comfortable pace with a small group and I was hoping we could stay together for most of the distance. Then we came to the first aid station which was also the 10K turnaround and I was not going to stop. One person in the group was doing the 10K and another was going to look for a band aid, so I stayed on the trail but hesitated since I didn’t know if they were all stopping. Two turned and two went past me.  I realized I didn’t know who was who because they were behind me and I did not know what they looked like. I waited for a minute and went on, and would be on my own for a while.

 I knew I was near the back of the pack but I worked to stay focused and keep my pace. After the halfway point I stuck an earbud in my right ear and turned on my trusty old ipod shuffle.  At that point I started walking the hills and running the flat and downhill sections (I turned off the ipod with a couple of miles left to focus on what I was doing).  By mile 12 I was now pretty sure that I was the last runner out there and was having some muscle spasms in my legs. I thought of the quote at the top of this page and knew that I was hurting but it was not going to get worse so I kept pushing on.

The intended blasting of the last 5K turned into determined forward progress. I came around the corner almost to mile 14 and in my head I was saying “Talk to me Goose”.  I looked up and saw my wife and one of the photographers from Mile90 photography (www.mile90.com). They were a sight for sore eyes and tired legs and gave me encouragement as I approached. I smiled at Kristen and said “what was that we were talking about being the last mule to the barn?”

Now I came out to the turn that would lead me down the hill and up to the top of Sander’s Mound for the last time; then it was time for the home stretch back down and up two more hills to the finish. At the top of the mound I allowed myself a little celebratory moment throwing my arms in the air Rocky style. I thanked the photographer for waiting for me and headed for the finish.

As I came up the last hill I saw my wife again and glanced at the nearly empty parking lot. I turned the last corner to a small but enthusiastic group of people cheering me in. I am pleased with my run and my longest trail event to date. Mostly I was able to work through some things that previously led to an unhappy death march to the finish. Even though I finished last, I actually feel better about the effort in this run than I have in other races. Thank you to everyone’s support and encouragement along the way. 

The greatest gift we can give to this world....and ultimately ourselves is....our self, the unfiltered, unshielded plain and simple, fully in the moment, in the person in front of us, self. Not the yeaterday, tomorrow or 5 minutes from now, but in the moment self. Strangely, running ultra races has taught me this.

To race, to go beyond what I know I can do, to push through fear and pain and uncertainty, requires one to be fully present in the moment, you lose all ability to put up any sort of shield, you become who you really are and I have yet to meet a soul on the trail in those moments, when they are stripped down, to be anything less than beautiful.

It is then I see our creator in my fellow man and in myself. what I didn't realize until last night at work, after seeing patient after patient after patient, that I can experience that in any moment. If I am fully present in the moment, in the patient in front of me, without shield, filter, guard, without being in the past or thinking 5 minute or an hour in the future.

If I can be fully present in the moment and in the patient, a magical thing happens. They become fully in the moment, lose their filter, their guard, their shield and 2 beautiful souls are revealed, a connection is made, and healing occurs....without medication, a shot, a pat on the back. This is why I run crazy distances, crazy courses, always pushing always climbing, to learn and grow and see, really see.

All of this made possible by some crazy coach that told me once, "demand the impossible". I thought he was high.  ....he was ;)  ...and now I am too.

Ran 6.5 miles in HRZ2 the other night. Although I'm still pretty slow, my pace was 30 sec per mile faster than last January's half marathon race pace. The big difference though? My average heart rate was 40 bpm lower than during the half. Hopefully that translates to a much faster pace in next January's half.

The past few blogs have not been about mountain running, but mountain running has taught me how to approach this life climb. Yesterday I went under anesthesia to biopsy my bladder. I’ve had some post running blood in my urine, prompting the evaluation that led to finding a couple of spots on my bladder.

I think about how I would have approached and dealt with this 3 years ago, before running changed my whole way of thinking. The world is bigger and I am much smaller. Life and our world is precious. And it’s freeing to know it’s not all about me.

I have big plans for 2015, my goal race is going to be Tor Des Geants. Ill have to have a fair amount of luck to get in, but I think its gonna happen. I won’t know that until February. Right now it is just a day at a time. Currently, I am not running, I haven’t in 2 weeks which feels like 2 years at times, but I’m making the most of it, and hopeful I will get to start training again soon.

In the meantime, I await the biopsy results. I should know monday, the results, and go from there. Im ready to slip my running shoes back on! ...soon

Well, it was a great end to my season. I crushed my previous HM by over 5 minutes! Thanks to Eric for the book and his replies to this forum over the year as well as to all of you who have participated here. I am sore in all the right places this morning (calves, glutes, and hip flexors), so I know that I transitioned well.

Aside from the increased weekly mileage and the form tweaks, the rolling hills long runs in phase 2 helped e the most I believe, since my race had about 4 miles of steady inclines of varying grades from about mile 6 to mile 10. I was able to cruise uphill without waning while passing several walkers who had gone out ahead of me on the flatter portion.

Eric's HR training baseline tests and charts are the best I have come across. I am looking forward to getting a new GPS/HR device for Christmas this year to replace my base HR device. I can't wait.

Next up is my first full marathon. I have done 2 HMs and a few 5Ks. My PRs are 22:19 (2012) and 1:43:01 (2014). At age 39, I have been running for 3 years and averaged about 40 miles/week this past year.

I plan on increasing my weekly mileage to 50-60 this season in preparation. I also plan to be more consistent with my slant/wobble board exercises.

What else should I consider when setting goals and planning out my training for my first full? Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

Thanks all!

It took an extra week but I've now finished Phase 1 of the Foundation program and I've been pleased with the improvements in my running.

A friend asked me if I thought I was running faster now than before I had my run of injuries and I'm not sure that I am (yet) but I definitely feel stronger and more confident with my running.

1 mile test

20 Minute Test

I've put a lot of effort into my cadence by running with a metronome for the past 6 months which has paid off.  

I have  a Garmin which measures a few things other than heart rate and time so included them above because they showed a difference.  Still not sure if the change in those metrics is positive.  I assume the decrease in vertical oscillation is a good thing but I increased my ground contact time on my latest 20 minute test so not really sure what that means.  If anyone has any insights then I'd love to them.

I've just recently started looking into duathlons. About a month ago I found one that was a sprint distance on mountain bike trails. I tentatively drove up this morning, not sure how I was going to do, especially nervous about how fast the times from last year were. I know I shouldn't care about my time but if I'm honest, there is a small part of that doesn't want to be dead last. But someone's gotta be right?

We had lots of rain yesterday and I thought they might cancel the race. Nope, on a scheduled!! My dad and I drove up there in chilly and windy weather. (The rain brought in a cold front.) We got my bike set up in the transition area, attended the pre-race meeting, and walked down to the starting line. The race director yells, "Go!" and within 30 seconds, I was the last runner. But once I got on the trails, I didn't care. I was loving the temps (once I warmed up!) The sun was shining through yellow and orange leaves and it was so beautiful!! I was reminded that I just LOVE being on trails, whether I'm running, biking, or backpacking.  The 1st run was a 5k on a loop that we would do again during some of the bike portion. I started hearing a bike behind me and I was thinking, "Surely no one's finished and already lapping me!?" I turned to look and the guy says, "You're fine, I'm just the sweeper."      Further reiteration that I was last. But I promised myself I would run my own race, so I continued to go at my pace. I felt great on the mountain biking leg, 16k of single track with only short uphill climbs and I began to catch up to people. I was still one of the last people into the transition area to switch back to running, but I was also still grinning. I was having so much fun and felt a little like a bad ass, since I wasn't totally sure that I could do it. I finished strong and ended up being 2nd female in my age group!! HA! I've already looked up the next one that I want to do. I think this is just the kick in the butt my training needed. 

Hi everyone

A few days ago I finished reading Bens book, "Ben On Foot" and I wanted to let you all know how much I enjoyed reading it. The book flows, is easy to read and draws the reader in so that the reader is able to experience and be a part of Ben's journey. You, well I was any way, with him in my minds eye every step of the way, seeing what he saw and felt through his words. He lays out in front of you the genisis of his idea to run 130 miles, his doubts, fears, joys, elations and everything in between. 

Ben describes his first steps as "a runner" in such a way I think we all can recognize a little of ourselves in the pages.

Its not a "how to Book", though there are many lessons to be learn't in and taken away from the book and this is, in my opinion, the reason Ben really takes the reader with him on his physical and emotional journey. The book is written as if you are a part of the process, part of the thought bubble that helped to form and mould the idea to firstly have a crack at this thing called running and then ultimately formulate a plan to run 130 miles to Bristol.

I feel I know Ben a liitle more through those pages and have some undersanding of his resolve, determination and mindset before, during and after the run to Bristol.

But other than anything else it's just a bloody good read from the first to last page.

Eric graciously giving Ben permission to Include his TCI posts in the book about the planning, logistics, and emotions of his run to Bristol made me fell even more connected to Ben, his story and his journey through our shared experience here in this place.

And if I can be so bold, do yourself a favour and buy a copy of "Ben On Foot" it would make a fantastic Christmas present or a treat for youself, I can't recommend it enough.

I truly hope this leads to amazing things for Ben and I wish for Ben what he would wish for himself.                                         

Robert

No, not the Danica Patrick version! I'm talking about my father. He is a big part of the reason that I've been a runner for almost 23 years. He has been a runner since he was 13 years old- he's told me stories of taking a lawn mower to a field across the street from where he lived and mowing a personal track, hidden among the tall weeds. He says that he loved to go run and run after school, where no one could see him, the smell of the sweet hay filling his nose, and all his worries would temporarily disappear. He was super supportive of me when I decided to start running in high school. He read Born To Run and passed it along to me. I read The Cool Impossible and passed it along to him. He is now 69 years old and completing Phase One of Eric's plan for the second time. Before Eric's plan, my dad suffered from a lot of pulled muscles in his 50's and early 60's. I think he had started to accept that his running was going to be like this forever. He tentatively started Eric's plan and didn't seem to get the results he wanted. There was improvement; no more pulled muscles and my dad was back on a regular exercise routine. But he's always wanted to complete an Ironman. Now that he's on his second trip through Phase One, he's seeing more improvement, LOVING the speed workouts, and that excitement is back in his voice when we talk about our running. It makes me so happy to see that light back in his eyes!! Thank you, Eric!!

Pumpkin Holler 50k is a rolling gravel course that follows the Illinois river, farms and the hills of Cherokee County, Ok. That would be my race today. It’s the end of the season for me. It’s been a packed spring/summer with amazing races in places I’ve never seen before. It’s also been a painful summer with the loss of my mother-in-law just a couple weeks ago. Truly, a mother and role model for me. I was left feeling quite hollow, but with a sense of relief that she no longer would suffer. After The Rut in September, I continued to run and train for Flagstaff, the finale race in the U.S. Skyrunning Series. But as Ellen got weaker I knew there was a good possibility I wouldn’t make it, and indeed, her condition became grave the week of the race.  Everything seemed to stop all at once.

I was a little frustrated with my racing at speedgoat and the rut as well. I was rather disappointed in how long it took me on both those races and I couldn’t objectively guage my effort during those races...I think due to fear I didn’t trust myself and was afraid to push my effort at all. I was anxious to see if I could push myself a little further at Flagstaff.  

Today I didn’t want to wonder if I could have maintained a higher effort, I wanted to know when I finished the race, that I couldn’t have put any more effort here or there. That I made sure to do everything I could to have the best race I could today.

After the Rut, coach encouraged me to run Flagstaff without headphones. I had never run a race or a hard workout without headphones. Easier trail runs less than 3 hours I usually don’t wear them, but for any perceived “hard” or “really long” run, well, they are my pacifier, so to speak. I missed Flagstaff, but from the time he suggested running without headphones I did, and an amazing thing happened. I ran better. I wasn’t distracted, I could actually focus on my effort and know exactly where I was, not just try to “get through” the hard part. I was afraid if I had nothing  distract me when it got hard, I would fall apart. The opposite happened...I could better keep it together. I also realized that much of the summer I didn’t “feel” my runs. Maybe in part due to distraction from headphones, but more from stress. As hard as it was to lose Ellen, once I let her go in my heart and mind, I could feel again. I distinctly remember going out for a run along the pumpkin holler course, and it was like I could really see, hear, feel everything...the green river, the vibrancy of the colors in the trees and leaves. I could hear...the crunching gravel, the wind, leaves rustling, and I could feel… the warmth of the sun, the breeze on my skin, my heart beat, every muscle in my legs and arms. I could feel the effort, and I could feel the gratitude and connection with everything around me.

And after that day of being able to feel again, I knew I could run a race and find that line of knowing my effort, knowing when to push, when to back off, because I KNEW I could feel it. There was no fear, no need to distract. And then coach took it a step further.  He said something to the effect of, “how about putting tape on your watch so you can’t see the data, just go by feel”. Initially, it gave me a little panic attack. A full 50k with no watch data. I started out with and have become very dependent on my watch to “tell me” what my effort is based on my heart rate, splits, etc. Of course I always see coach’s suggestions as a challenge, and I love challenges so I was in.

So, race morning, white electrical tape over the face of my watch.  Looking at the blank white tape, I thought, “I should write something on it”. Todd suggested, “I’m right behind you!”. I thought that was funny and would be good motivation, so I did.

I wanted to do everything right on this race that I had control over. I ate a large breakfast 3 hours before the race to make sure I was well fueled and not full at the start. I did my pre race warm up getting my hr up just before the start. I carried 1 handheld with water and 1 gel from the start, planning to go for 2 gels per hour-ish, but based more on feel than timing. I did leave the alarm on my watch ticking off the miles, so I would at least know what mile I was at.

The race director yelled, “go” and we were off. I knew I was going out a little fast, but not too fast...at least it didn’t feel like it. After a couple miles I settled down a little. at around mile 4 we started to climb gently then steeper. I took a quick peek back and saw the second female right behind me. “Well crap” I thought, “how appropriate, the ‘I’m right behind you!’ on my watch really is!” I pushed on up the hill, a little harder effort than I would have if she weren’t right there. I knew if I could top the hill, I could easily plow down it, downhill is a skill I have and I was sure I could break away. I cruised right on through the mi 5 aid station saying hello and waving to everyone trying to look like I was having an easy time. I could tell by her breathing she was having at least as much difficulty getting up that hill as I was, but I wanted her to think it was a breeze for me. I put just a little gap on the downhill and rolled into mi 7.5 aid feeling good. Grabbed a couple of gels and topped off my water and headed out for the 3 mile out and back section. My effort had been riding a little higher than I knew it should, but I wanted to try and put a little lead on the girl behind me so when we passed each other it would seem like I was widening the gap. I also determined to look as happy and care free as possible when we passed. Got to the turnaround and in less than 1 minute, there she was…”well shit, that didn’t work!” I continued that higher effort back to the aid at 10.5 miles and headed off for the next aid station. By 11 miles I could tell I had extended probably a little too much effort and was feeling a little fatigue in the legs. I thought, “oh it is waaay to soon for this”. I decided to take in another gel, I had only had 2 gels at that point, and even though my tummy wasn’t really excited about taking one on, I thought maybe I just needed more energy.

My energy picked up a little, but now my gut was cramping. “I hope I make it to the porta potty at the next aid station...I hope there is a porta potty at the next aid station”. A long shallow climb lay ahead. Despite the fatigue my legs were feeling I was determined to continue that little bit harder effort. I knew I was moving a little slower, but had no concept of my pace..was it 8? 9? 10 min/mi? I really had no clue. I could tell at this point my HR wasn't as high, so I knew my pace had slowed, but I def was going as fast as my legs would allow at that point, so I didn’t stress.  I could hear voices behind me and I just knew it was the 2nd place female getting ready to take me. I kept making sure I was giving all the effort I could, I was not holding back. Any harder effort would not have been sustainable. We topped out about a half mile from the 14 mi aid station and I reveled in plowing down into the aid station. To my surprise I had put a little more of a gap on #2. Unfortunately, my gut required a visit to the porta potty I was oh so glad to see. As I exited and grabbed more gels and water she rolled into the aid station. I took off.

I was worried at how my legs were feeling at under the halfway point. They were really starting to feel more than mildly sore, hips and knees hurting a little and just leg tired. My energy was good, I felt good, but my legs were not as good. I was continuing to get a gel in about every 3-4 miles and drank from my water bottle to quench my thirst. By mi 16 my gut was cramping again. The course is dirt road, flanked mostly by fences. I was looking for an opportunity to dart off the dirt road and find a good hiding place as my gut was cramping more and more. I knew I was not going to make it to the next porta potty! I am quite modest and will practically get myself lost off the trail to make sure not a soul will see me. In this case it would mean about 50-100meters or more off the dirt road through thick brush to a remote enough tree to hide myself.  Knowing She was probably not far behind, I decided I would run as fast as I could through the brush to the perfect hiding spot and run as fast as I could back, I would not waste any time! And so ran off the road through thick brush when I got my left foot tangled in barbed wire hiding in the brush. It grabbed me right out of mid stride and jerked me straight to the ground smacking my left knee and shin on the hidden rocks. Stunned by the sudden jerk and sharp pain, and of course still trying to get the hell back on the road before She caught me, I rose to my feet and managed to slice the back of my leg with the barbed wire in my haste. Cursing I took care of business and ran (a little more cautiously) back to the road. A bloody mess, but no real damage done. I looked back as I got back on the road and saw no evidence of her. I was surprised. I knew my pace was slower, I had no idea how much slower, but I felt surely she would catch me. At mi 18 aid station I regrouped, grabbed more gels, salt, water and took off. I wasn’t sure where I was in relation to the guys in front. I figured I was in 5th or so place. I could see one or two of them from time to time in front of me and one I was gaining on very gradually.

The 22 mi aid station was named “hard up ahead”. I really didn’t like that name, as I wasn’t sure how much “hard up ahead” I had in me. This was the only paved section of the course and by now my hips, left IT band and knees were talking very loud. I tried easing up on my pace a bit to see if it would help briefly, but as I suspected, it only hurt more to go slower. The faster I go, typically the less joint pain I have...unless I’m walking or hiking...and walking/hiking just was not an option today. Today was going to be riding that line of hard and unsustainable, and faster was less painful than slower.  Faster also meant I got to be done sooner and have a beer and a hot dog. At 25 miles I finally got the feeling that maybe I had really shaken #2 girlie, I also knew if she could muster the strength to pass me at this point, there would be nothing I could do. I was going as fast as I possibly could. I caught the guy in front of me. Good golly my legs were hurting. I heard my watch beep, “Ok, I’m at 27 miles..I’m on the hunt for mi 28” I decided to play this goofy game in my head. ‘I’m looking for mi 28” I would look ahead, plotting, figuring where it would be, like I was hunting it down. “Beep”, ok that was mi 28. now I’m on the hunt for mi 29...I’m going to get mi 29” This actually worked. I could tell my legs were working harder and I was moving a little faster, it was like I had a purpose. My eyebrows furrowed, on the hunt for mi 29. Beep. Ok, mi 30….and on to 31. At 31 I could see glimpses of the river bridge we would cross just before the last 200 meters or so. “oh, thank God” I thought, I am finally there! I crossed the finish at 4:37. I was hoping for under 4:30, but knew I had given every ounce all the way. I don’t know that I have finished a race that satisfied with myself. Maybe Boston Marathon last year. I felt every moment of that race, no distractions and no desire for distraction...that’s the part that surprised me. I didn’t need distraction. I was fortunate to get a little icing on my cake today, first female and 3rd overall finisher. But as I am learning...it’s not about the finishing place, or really even time. The joy is in the effort, in the “doing”. Dealing with the unexpected, adapting and prospering and moving forward with the best effort I can lay down. That is where the joy lies.

(Sulcata: aka Spur Thigh Tortoise)

Ok, so it's now something like five weeks since I started to change things up to some type of approximation of proper form, function and an illusion of speed.  Time for another update. (as much for me to look back on as anything, I suppose)

I guess I should recap.  In the first five weeks of this "class" I'm in, I managed to over-strain my left lcl, flirt with shin splints (I'm told) and pull a hammy.  That was running my old way, and under the old "in order to run faster, you run faster" paradigm.  In that same five weeks, I managed to take a whopping 23 seconds off my timed mile and a half.  Turtles were passing me on the track.  Every now and then, one would offer me a ride (probably out of pity, but some turtles also have respect for their elders, or so I've found).  Five weeks...23 seconds...whoopee-doo.  Running hurt.  Running is what felons and masochists do.

At the end of "week 5", I get TCI and a pair of minimalist Brooks.  Starting the next day, I kept up with the class during long runs.  On that note, I've made all subsequent class runs up with the class since then.  After two weeks of the TCI style of running, I shaved another 22 seconds off my mile and a half.  Hmmm...this seems to be showing results.  Sure, I'm not faster than the speed of sound, but there has been (to me) significant improvement at that point. 

More running, more practice runs, foot strength exercises, jedi mind tricks, runs with the class, at lunch and after work and some alterations to my pre-run diet, and I FELT like I was moving faster.  Better yet, after 5 weeks TCI, I haven't been injured.  Sore?  Hellz yeah, but not injured.  This is a good thing.

Which brings us to today.  Today was the "drop dead" final physical readiness test for us all.  I had to shave some serious time off my prior runs to even come close to "failing admirably".    Ok, I mentioned that I was slow and lumbering, right?  With a blush of embarrassment I'll admit to a time of 18:01 as belonging to me on day one.  Maybe slow isn't quite as accurate as "glacial", but nobody I know of has been passed by turtles on a glacier, so...(shrug)...slow will have to suffice.  Again, back to today.  ALL of our instructors were present to watch the gazelles blaze around the track.  Two in particular were leaving flaming trails behind them reminiscent of a time traveling DeLorian.  They were poetic.  They were athletic.  They were lapping me for the second time...bastards.  Then a strange thing happened.  With a lap and a half to go, breathing well and feeling only slightly puny, three of my classmates (two of them just seconds ago finished with their final lap) flanked me and paced me.  Zoinks!  The pushed me (verbally) and encouraged me.  They coached me in little tweeks I needed to make in my form.  They really screwed-up my inner monologue, but what the hell, let's make this a race.  At some point on the last lap, I broke the speed of smell.  Now, remember, my last recorded run was 17:21 just two weeks ago.  When my new posse and I crossed the line, the clock read 15:23!  As I...um...how do I say this delicately?...."fed the crickets" immediately past the finish line, I was ecstatic!  Seriously, I had a 45 second, maybe upwards of 60 second drop as a measure of success, but...THIS?!  In my little pea brain, this was faster than a Romulan skedaddling out of the Neutral Zone with Picard on his tail!  It was legendary.  It was epic.  It was validation.  It was still a failing time.

I can't say I don't care, because I do.  I care that I have shaved three minutes off of my run in the last ten weeks.  I care than  two minutes and forty seconds of that difference came since reading/adopting TCI.  I'm proud of what I've already accomplished, and very much look forward to continued improvement. 

Speaking of improvement...I'm being retested next week.  I have to shave another 40 seconds off today's time if I'm to pass this course.  I bought a Magellan runner's watch today.  (No sweat, my grandkids weren't expecting an inheritance anyway).  I'm hoping it functions as valuable tool to help me win this battle against time...and old age. ;)

7 days...40 seconds...no sweat, right?

(*note: Have you ever seen a Sulcata wearing Oaklie MP3 glasses, a gps watch, Vibram 5-fingers, spandex, a long-distance rig filled with energy gels drafting off a (formerly) fat man?  He thinks he's friggin' hilarious.  Me?  It wasn't nearly as funny when the situation was reversed, but MUST he keep "Eye Of The TIger" playing on a loop?!)

Yesturday while competing in the Melbourne Marathon one could say I had both the worst of days and the best of days but I will choose the best of days. But let me start at the begining.

We arrived at the MCG, (Melbourne Cricket Ground) where the start and finish would be, placing our dry clothing bag in the bagging area by 6.15am and walked to the starting area which is about 10 minutes walk. It was about 10 Deg C for the start so though it was crisp it was not so cold you were shivering. Once down in the start area Jeff and I found a place towards the back of the runners so as to not risk being tripped of pushed in the rush for the start. Your time starts when you cross the start line courtesy of the timing chip on the back of our race number.

While standing waiting for the start listening to the interviews conducted by the MC being blasted out to the assembled throng Jeff and I were speaking about our training, our goal for the day and strategy. Then with about a minute to the 7.00am start I had a few pains in my gut. I did'nt take much notice though as I was feeling good and it was probably a combination of nerves and wind anyway.

The gun goes off with a warning from the MC that there would be a "loud bang" but not to be alarmed which I thought was strange and we were away, first at a walk then a jog trying not to trip over anything as 7,460 runners move forward almost as one behind the elite runners.

As Jeff and I settled in behind the 4 hour pacer, I again had a bit of pain in my right side like a stich but again I dismissed it. We arrived and passed through the first drink station at 5 Km then about a km past I (sorry but there's no other way of saying this) had to use a toilet and NOW, but I could'nt see any around. I paniced but then out of the corner of my eye saw a Subway so I ran over and it was open and headed to the loo. However another runner had beaten me to it so as I did the highland fling trying to put my mind something else, the door opens and its mine just in the knick of time.

Once out and back in the race I kept to my pace (4 Hr Pace)as I still had 38km to make the 8-10 minute up that I'd lost. However it wasn't long before my stomach and gut were cramping again and I had to repeat the process, find a loo in a hurry. This cycle happened 4 times in total over the first 20 km but though after the last time I used the loo I had nothing in my system my gut and right side was constantly cramping. This meant I was running hunched over as this gave me a little relief from the pain. Three times during the race the route doubles back on itself meaning you run past those ahead of you and twice Jeff saw me ran accross the median strip to high five me not knowing what had happened or what I was going through which was a huge boost to me.

Twice during the race I also had St. Johns ambulance staff who were patrolling the course on bikes ride up to me to ask if I was ok and if I needed any help. The second time they came to me they said "there was no shame in stopping as you had given it your all" but I assured them I was ok to continue.

By this time I had been walk-running for most of the way due the the cramps and when I was running/shuffling I was hunched over meaning I was not striding correctly therefore running with no form at all. Then on top of the stomach cramps from about 30km my right quad was also cramping, I suspect due to the poor form I was using. Through all this I knew that I risked dehydration so I was drinking a cup Hydralite and a cup of water at every drink station.

After the second trip to the toilets I knew that my 4hr finish was out the window so I gave myself permission to stop if need be, I reset my goal which was now to finish, and I promised myself to try to enjoy the day as best I could. When the running was hard and I was in pain I thought of my sister who has had huge issues with infected and ulcerated legs, my wifes father who not long ago had a heart attack and Lori's mother inlaw and my lot did'nt seem too bad. I just kept reaffirming my new goal, and putting one foot in front of the other. My mantra for the day was "Strength, Form, Focus", form was out the window but I concentrated on the other two, Strength and Focus as I repeated my mantra over and over sometimes out loud. As I continued I saw many drop out, people on the road being attended by the medical staff and I even managed to pass a few people that were'nt in a good place.

Then though in a world of pain, my right quad cramped, my whole body aching from poor form and being on the road for almost 5 hours I realized that the finish was only a couple of Km away. So I shuffled as best I could to the finish with everyone clapping and cheering me on over the last 200M and I crossed the line in 5:05.23. They called my name out over the loud speaker urging me to keep going as I approached the finish and on crossing the line an official came accross to me asked if I needed medical treatment. Upon me reassuring him I was ok he directed me to where I had to go the recieve my finishers medal and something to drink and eat.

It was so humbling, I felt like I was the centre of attention and I felt I didn't deserve it because all I'd done is completed a race, complete what I had set out to do of my own free will. 

When they put the medal arround my neck and congratulated me on finishing I had tears in my eyes as the realization of what I had just achieved flooded over me. Then as I turned with my medal proudly around my neck everyone who was waiting for me, my family, Jeff and his family came apon me worried as I was an hour late. Of cause I had no way of letting them know what had happened but as I was explaining my wife started to laugh and then apologise, but for what?

The night before as we had been out to a friends place for lunch we only felt like a light dinner and I wanted to be careful of what I ate. So we bought some fresh crusty bread and ate a garden salard with the bread. My wife also made up a dip of balsamic vinigar and olive oil and as we did'nt have a lot of balsomic vinigar it was more olive oil than vinigar. I happened to really like just the olive oil and the fresh crusty bread and I ate, well, nearly all the bread and a considerable amount of extra virgin olive oil. ..... BINGO LOL

Now I said at the begining "that one could say I had both the worst of days and the best of days but I will choose the best of days". I had the best of days because though I had every reason to stop I didn't, I was able to reassess my goal and keep going. People I've told have all been either disapointed for me or have said bad luck or said I must be so disapointed with what happened. But I feel fantastic about what has happened and what I've achieved, the time it took is secondary almost irrelevant , I was able to keep going, to dig deep, to reassess and reshape my goal coming through it all a winner and I'd say almost a different person. I now know I can cope with anything a race or training can throw at me, that pain is just pain and can be worked through. I couldn't and would'nt be happier even if I had broken 3 hours, I learn't what I'm made of when the chips are down and everythings seems to be going to hell in a hand basket I can prevail.

I have a huge thankyou to say to everyone here, for your support and help, you have all been wonderful and so giving. so THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.