So the pic is me post race...happy and needing a bath.  Check out the cool amulet I got from Louis Escobar. Soooo...Sitting in our hotel last night tracking weather. Many tornados for friends and neighbors in Oklahoma.. For War Eagle, lots and lots and lots of rain, lightening and thunder.  My goal for this race was a cool impossible for me...sub 5 hr.  I sat at Doe's Diner eating tamales making sure my calculations for what I would need to pace at were on.  I knew it would be tight, last year my time was 5:27 (and to give some perspective on where this crazy trail racing has taken me in 2 years..my time in 2011 was 7:46 with a cutoff of 8hrs.). So pacing strategy down on paper napkin, on to a cool experience. Louis Escobar would be presenting his photos of the Tarhumara runners at the community building.. In Bentonville Arkansas! He came not only to share pictures, but to take pictures of us as we raced. SOOOO COOOOL! I was entranced, an amazing photographer, amazing people of the Copper Canyons. Had a raffle at the end and scored a necklace he got from the Hawaiian islands-he was photographing HURT 100 I think he said. I determined I would wear it in the race for good vibes and reminding me to experience the earth and everything around me as I run--to soak it in. Ok, moving on to the actual race...

Heavy storms this morning, lots of lightening and pouring rain. Got time to chat with other runners a couple of which will be at Leadville this year, including my pacer. lightening delayed the race start, but once the lightening eased up a bit...or it was determined it was not going to let up completely...we started. Right out of the gait the race is up and down. I got myself toward the front and a few racers passed me. Then there were about 5 guys lined up right behind me. I mean RIGHT behind me.  It made me terribly nervous, feeling like they were wanting to pass, but maybe trying to be nice? A few times I offered to let them around. Finally, the one right behind me said, "oh no, we know what time you are pacing for". How do they know me...or what I was pacing for. More nervous!! So I lead a group of 5 or so along the trail.  I got kinda tickled.  My hair in 2 braids, with my native amulet around my neck, leading a pack up the trail.  I wondered if this is what Sacagawea felt like leading Lewis and Clark! After a few more miles they fell behind and I was by myself. I relaxed a bit but noticed my effort seemed high for my heart rate and pace.  Based on my Garmin, I was not hitting my pace goals/splits.  Around 7 miles my legs were already feeling more than a bit tired and I noticed my breathing was hard and effort felt pretty moderate despite my low heart rate.  I was becoming a bit disappointed. And a little unnerved. Taking in plenty of calories? yep.  Water? yep. What's the matter? Dunno.  Maybe I'm just tired, fatigue? Maybe. Whatever the reason, I realized that I would have to focus on making the most of what I had.. which were tired legs and  heavy breathing.  I slowed a little to a more comfortable pace, knowing but trying not to think much about how this was going to affect my time.  I was thinking about what I was going to tell my coach, "I dunno coach, my legs were just tired. The effort was there coach, I promise. My breathing was hard coach, I don't know why". So I took one last look at my watch at about 10 miles...looked like not only was I going to miss my sub 5 cool impossible, but I was pacing to finish around 5:30-5:45. Ok, Lori, it's time to let it go and just focus on systems checks and maximizing what I had left. I had to BELIEVE I WAS giving it my best...this is where those thoughts like to creep in...you know the ones... "you're just being a baby...you're just not trying hard enough..you really can go faster, you just don't want to bad enough". Thoooose thoughts that if left unchecked will spiral out of control. 

It was tough, I was only 10 miles into a 31 mile race.  I no longer looked at my watch. I remembered what Louis said, feel the mud, the dirt, the sky, the water. I said a huge thanks to God for the rain...I struggle with heat and knew if it were a hot day the situation would be amplified. Selfish for me to think God brought the rain just for me, to make it easier on me, but I was grateful nonetheless. The rain and fog were amazing...the lightening a little nerve wracking! I heard an owl a few different times. No glasses and no contacts in made negotiating signage a little tricky, they had several people pointing us in the right direction which was awesome...until I mistook Louis Escobar...the famous photographer for one of these individuals forcing him to put his camera down and get me pointed in the right direction. Sorry Louis! 

 As I let go of the negative thoughts I was able to focus on systems checks. I was able to get in plenty of calories and fluids without nausea. I noticed my form was breaking down, so I focused on correcting it, bringing my shoulders up, not shuffling my feet, keeping my feet under me better on downhill instead of reaching or "pawing" out in front of me...unfortunately I realized this one a bit late going, but I don't think the consequences will be great. I made myself speed up a bit on the flat/downhill sections--not get lazy here and back of on the uphills to keep me in a good place and not fight them and fall apart going up.  The constant up and down was fatiguing, I longed for some long flat sections.

The aid station volunteers rocked, they hollered, hooted, and cow-belled me every time I came through. There were several people that knew who I was and where I was from even though I had no idea who they were. That felt good. They were very encouraging.

There were 3 miles left, I decided I would look at my overall time so I could prepare myself, and not be too disappointed when I saw it on the time clock at the finish. I looked down....4:25....Holy @#$%!  I yelled and probably jumped 3 feet in the air!  I was shocked....3ish miles with 35 minutes to go. I thought I was already well over 5 hrs!   I thought...go get your cool impossible girl! The fatigue in my legs seemingly vanished ... very temporarily ;) I was on the go!  Hit the last heartbreaker of a hill and knew it was gonna be by the skin of my teeth.  I had to power hike a few sections of that last steep hill. I came up off the trail and hit the pavement and through the finish.  5:00:28 seconds. New female course record (by only a minute mind you) and Not sub five, but way cool!!!!!!!!!

Dropped 41 lbs, her blood sugar dropped from averaging 230 to the new 140..and less.

AND....drumroll please...... she is running up to 4 miles at a time!  She is curing her own diabetes and high blood pressure.  We are rolling back and maybe..who knows...someday soon get to stop those medications.... you know... the ones the drug companies would have  patients believe they can't possibly live without, the ones they would have us- the prescibers believe we are doing the patient a disservice or worse harm if we don't prescribe, the ones the lawyers would love for you to keep taking so they can ake money off you when you have a side effect...those medications. CONGRATULATIONS! And go go GO girl!

Here's some pics of the new pack. Fits great on first try for a small frame. light and comfortable...it outghta be..it's expensive..around $115-$130. Over the next couple weeks will hit the trails with it for longer runs and let ya know what I think.   My previous pack was an Ultimate Direction Wisp...awesome, but I'm wanting to try one that has a front pocket for a water bottle. I'm trying to use handhelds on shorter ultras. I'm still not used to hand-helds....getting there and can now tolerate carrying one, but not one each hand.  I'm a weirdo...I get claustrophobic with the handheld strapped to my hand..I feel like I cant breathe...yup...i'm a freak. Not to mention with hotter/humid weather 1 water bottle wont last me long, and in an ultra,  not likely even to the next aid station. 

I was pretty sure my face was going to melt off today. You know, like the guy in Indiana Jones at the end of the movie when he looked at the Ark of the Covenant.  That's how I felt at one point today. Needless to say this drama queen is struggling a bit with the sudden heat wave we are experiencing. Got pretty nauseated during speed work yesterday and hit the trails this morning with the same. I knew I had near 3 hours of running on the agenda. After 30 minutes I called it quits. Mild - mod nausea and lack of desire to try and work through it made me throw in the towel. I tried to tell myself my stomach was just not right, maybe I was sick. Hindsight being 20/20, the reality is I knew I would fight the heat/humidity to accomplish what I had on my agenda and I wasn't ready for the fight.  Of course all the way home I was kicking myself for not staying out there. Queasy feeling left by noon and I felt like my old self, which made me all the more frustrated that I didn't finish what I started this morning.  Sooo....I drove back to the trails and started at 3pm. Probably not the wisest decision..and many more unwise decisions followed. Anyway,  I knew I would now HAVE to deal with the heat/humidity full force and in a way that's what I wanted-dumass! Temps 85 with 63% humidity. Warm soup. Used to running in 40-50 cool mornings or maybe a 65-70 deg lunch run. Wake up call to summer.  The run today called for me to stay in a certain speed range for 2 hours. I knew this might be tough with me being totally not used to heat/humidity, but by God I was gonna try....hmmm...sense where this is going? Well of course I started out faster than the speed zone, trying to bank pace while I was feeling okay. Feeling ok lasted about 15 minutes. Then I got hot, and the nausea started. I told myself I could keep this up for 2 hours, that I was not pushing myself beyond my ability...so I did not relent any.  The nausea progressed, I struggled to get sips of water down on a belly that didn't want it and I pushed ...still convinced I wasn't. After 45 minutes I despirately wanted to quit. I slowed a little hoping to appease my body and still get what I wanted....to stay at the faster end of the speed zone. By near an hour I was convincing myself that there was just something wrong with my stomach that day....that I needed to quit because I just wasn't used to the heat, that I was overworked, underpaid.....Waaaa!  Literally, the wimpering began. Then I realized I had a choice.  I could quit..I was ready...at that point I was done. And I was doing a good job at convincing myself that there was just something wrong with my stomach that day, that I had good reason to quit... And I would learn to quit when things got tough and uncomfortable and painful.  I realized there was another option.  I could quit fighting and listen to what my body was begging me to do and see, just see if I could make myself feel better and continue to move forward, even if it meant...oh dear God no!...not being able to stay in the pace zone on MY agenda. I love challenges so I determined I would see this as a challenge could I make myself feel good enough to NOT quit. So I did. I didn't like it. I didn't think I would feel any better, but I made myself slow my ass down. I started listening to my body. I pulled my shoulders back and stuck my chest out just a little...the breathing became easier.  I quickened my cadence and took shorter steps, keeping my feet under me, especially uphill and over rocks and roots, taking 2 steps when normally I might just take a little longer leap. I focused on my arms-relaxed, letting them swing foreward and back, not across in front or as 1 unit with my torso.  It only took about 10 minutes before I came back to life and believed I might actually be able to run for another hour. I was able to start drinking more water, I took in 2 gels. I stopped and chatted with another trail runner.  It worked. I was liking the result. Not only did I feel like I could finish, but I was completely OK with slowing down and relaxing. I was actually enjoying it.  It also gave me confidence that maybe I can do this when things get tough at San Juan, and Leadville...to figure things out when they get tough, listen to my body, find ways to keep moving forward..find ways to get back to good.  I was also glad my face didn't melt off.

That was my workout for today. Recovering from marathon so no running today. So I walked my favorite lunchtime route...behind the hospital a dirt road...with the infamous 5-pack of dogs that tear after me every time....today included.  ....But I got their goofy mugs on camera!  ...just after I reminded them of my handful of rocks I always weild...just in case. Also met up with a much sweeter and friendlier dog that is new on this route. He's a pup-looks to be part if not all pit bull-a common breed around here. He doesn't know he's supposed to be vicious.  As you will see....there is a reason they call NE Oklahoma "Green Country"

He is not a runner, well...not yet anyway, but he has done something amazing and truely a cool impossible. 3 months ago he was admitted with a serious joint infection, new diagnosis of diabetes and an average blood sugar of well over 300.  Today we celebrated his new average blood sugar of 90.  That's in less than 90 days folks.  He reduced his cardiovascular risk by 300% by bringing his a1C from an 11+ down to 5.4.  I usually do jumping jacks when my patient's are able to edge their A1C down 1 to 2 points in 3 months. He brought his down almost 6 points.

Not really sure what to say. I guess I will just document this day if that is ok with you. After a fitful night of sleep, I got up at 5:30am. I choked down my snickers marathon bar...so sickeningly sweet and rich. I hate them, but I seem to race well on them. Todd watched puzzled at at my facial expressions and why I would eating something I so obviously detested. I choked all but the last bite down...I just couldn't eat one more bite. Blughhhhh, as I quiver just thinking about it. Then on to my love...my COFEEE!! Now that I savored. Threw my sweatshirt on over my tank and sweatpants.....sweatpants....uh...no sweatpants. I debated putting on jeans, but thought..Ah I won't need em. The runners village is at the high school gym, I'll be able to be inside, nice and warm. Left for the subway station to take me to the bus loading zone. My loading time was 6:30am...the race start for me was 10:20....that's a long time as I soon found out. Buses took us 26.2 miles to Hopkinton. Got off the bus and quickly realized the runner's village was completely outside. I got cold and chilled very quickly. As I hunted down some coffee and a bagel I noticed many with foil wraps and foil blankets. I thought maybe the race was giving them out. I asked one wrapped up in a foil sleeping bag where he got his. He said, Wal-Mart. Oh. He immediately pulled a spare out of his bag and gave it to me. He saved me from 2 hours of walking around in shorts in sub 40 temps. I was more than a little grateful. I found a spot in the sun and snuggled up to my coffee and bagel. Thousands of runners and hundreds of porta-potties. We were all laid out like beach bums on the grass, chatting, laughing, enjoying eachother's company. I laid down and stared at the blue sky and scant white fluffy wisps of clouds... Itwas a beautiful day. It was going to be a perfect day for racing. Temps for run were to be 55 degrees F and seemingly almost no wind. These are the conditions Boston course records are made at. At around 9:15 I decided to go run around and warm up. I ran down to the start line and back. I shucked my sweatshirt and more reluctantly my foil sleeping bag and headed to the start. Wave 2, corral 8 was my spot. 10:15 I turn my garmin on to training mode....searching for satellite signal....searching...searching.....This is the moment I panicked. I was quite calm and feeling good until this very moment. With no satellite signal I would be running blind. My whole race plan was to watch my heart rate and pace, especially those early miles so I would not go out too fast....or too slow. Well, I managed to really piss my watch off after pressing many buttons many many many many times and it just completely locked up. !@#$! This is where I had to chuckle. I knew coach Eric would get a real kick outta this dilemma...I would have to run by feel, trust my instinct and really just feel it out. @#$!. Dammit, here we go! Well there was not such thing as pacing those first 3 miles. We were packed like sardines. I reminded myself to be patient and not zig zag around and dart. A few times I couldn't resist. I finally forced myself to the right side of the road and stayed there to keep from doing that. I stayed to the right the whole race realizing also that the trees were shading this side of the road.A mental image came to me at this point. I remembered training with Eric and another runner at Leadville. I was running in the sun, enjoying it, not thinking anything of it...My coach yelling behind me and waving. He was far enough back I couldn't understand at first what he was trying to say.  I finally figured it out. I was running in direct sun when I could've been taking advantage of the intermittent shade of the trees. A very important thing to notice at 10,000 feet when you will be spending 12 hours running in direct sunlight. I was glad I remembered this lession. I still burned.  i had applied sunscreen...to my face only, and I knew I had alrady been laying out in the sun for two hours. Enough about trees and sunscreen. There was no gap in people lined up offering encouragement, oranges, gummie worms, high fives. Took some deep breaths and soaked it up. Perfect. After about 3-4 miles I decided to shut my watch completel;y down and restart it. Badda-bing! Satellite found! No more flying blind. I was pleased to see my pace running around 7:29 min mi. then 7:20, then 7:18. I watched my heart rate...A little higher than in training, but feeling really good and figured since I was out of danger of going too fast at this point. Feeling good, I continued this effort level. Miles 8-10 were very similar pacing. I was glad I was feeling so good at this pace and started thinking 3:29 was more than probable and 3:19 might just be a possiblitiy. Still pacing around 7:30 for the next few miles. Around mile 14 we came into Wellesly...the girls college. Hundreds of screeming girls offering kisses...and other favors...to the men. Where the hell was the boy's college???!!! You couldn't help but run faster...if not only to get away from the high pitched screams! Miles 14-16 were a little tougher, my pace slowed to 7:30-7:45. And then came the hills. Starting at about mile 16 and ending with Hearbreak Hill at mile 19. My pace went from 7:45-8:05 up the hills. The encouraging crowds were awesome! My fueling and hydration plan were solid and working well. I gulped water at every aid station and sucked down a gel every 45 minutes without fail. My belly tolerated this really well. It was getting harder to pick the pace back up after slowing/stutter stopping at the aid tables.  An object in motion tends to stay in motion..right?  And an object that has been running for 15 miles that stops has an incredibly hard time starting again. It took me about 2 miles to recover from the hills, my pace dropped to 8:10-8:15 the next 2 miles. I picked back up at mile 21-22 very briefly back down to 7:43. Mile 22-26.2 it took every ounce of me to hold on and finish. People were starting to walk and that was reaaaaalllly making me want to walk. It was tough. My legs were hurting, my feet were hurting, my knees were hurting. My pace dropped again to 8:00-8:15. This pissed me off. These miles seemed to take forever. Then I hit the last mile. There were lieterally thousands of people shouting and yelling and screeming encouraging us to hang in there and run hard. I did. I picked back up and ran hard..although...ahem... my pace only improved a hare I was giving it every ounce I had. I had no idea what my actual time was because of my watch malfunction but the clock showed 3:27. I was disappointed..I just knew I was closer to 3:20. I later found out my actual time..3:23.  I was pretty tickled with this. 14 minutes of my qualifying time 1 year ago. I stopped and walked to the aid tables past the finish. My legs started screeming with pain and cramping up. I immediately grabbed and sucked down an electrolye recovery drink.It did not provide the miraculous recovery advertised on TV.  I passed up the foil warming sheets they handed out (bad choice) anticipating getting my warm clothes from my gear bag a couple of blocks down. My gimpy walk took me longer to get there than I anticipated. I showed my bib number and they searched....and searched...and searched....no gear bag. Crap. On to find Todd. The family waiting area was another 3 blocks away. It took me forever to get to him and by then I was shaking almost uncontrollably. If anyone EVER tells you running a marathon is nothing compared to running a hundred miler, they may have run a hundred miles, but they have never REALLY RUN a marathon! I have done both, and I hurt every bit as bad those last few miles of the marathon that I did the last few miles running 100 miles across the Rocky Mountains. We made a bee line for the subway. I stopped short when I saw Cheesecake Factory. We went inside and sat down and everything changed. A loud, authoritative voice came over the speaker system, "There is criminal activity outside of the resteraunt, we are asking that you stay inside until further notice". We were sitting across from the bar and the TVs. Within minutes, images of explosions at the finish line were coming in. My heart sank. We sat dumbfounded. The authoritative voice repeated his statement several times. Ambulances, police cars, bomb squads raced outside. Just after the race, runners were smiling, congratulating eachother. As we passed eachother in the resteraunt we nodded sadly at eachother, feeling almost ashamed for finishing. Thousands of runners diverted from the finish, not knowing what was going on. I'm sure they got cold in their shorts and tanks. And their families, how would they connect? The ones injured and killed and their families and those who had to witness the tragedy and the blood and loss of limbs and life. We were warm and comfy and so many were'nt. After about 2-3 hours we determined it was probably best we try to make our way back to the hotel. We were about 4 miles away, the subway had shut down, no cabs, and if we waited much longer we would be walking in the dark. The scene inside the resteraunt was calm and warm. Outside was very different. Ambulances, marked and unmarked police cars and bomb trucks still racing by. People anxiously talking, trying to figure out how they were going to get home, their cars in the parking garages were sealed off. No access. No public transportation, at least not near by. We walked south of the finish line. The walk was good for my sore legs and sad soul. I broke down and cried..hard. We counted no less than 60 ambulances lined up as we walked...waiting...waiting for?? The streets that would have been packed with celebration were barren. Police cars, ambulances, a few unmarked official vehicles. At one crosswalk, a completely decked out police officer with helmit and assault rifle coaxing us across the street as he searches...for?? We got about a mile from the hotel and stopped to check our map. We kept getting off track. The streets in boston don't run north-south or east-west. They run northish-westish with a little to the southish. A gentlemen coming out of a building asked if he could help locate our hotel. He then offered us a ride. We gratefully accepted. And so here I am. I thought Boston would be a once-and-done, bucket list kinda race. I didn't realize it until i started this blog, I've only run 2 marathons..my first and qualifying marathon was the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon 1 year ago this coming weekend, this is the marathon that commemorates and honors the survivors and loved ones of those lost to the bombing so many years ago. I will be back in Boston next year. We will celebrate and it will be a good day. And Boston will be stronger, more tenacious, and more beautful than ever.

I actuallly believe I can execute this plan. Regardless of the outcome, I am thrilled with the confidence I have, with the ability to visualize and REALLY feel it. I can SEE it. The first time I "saw it" was at Snake Run. I have that same feeling...that it's possible...not knowing whether or not I'll get "the prize"-the time goal I am shooting for, but certain about my plan and the possibility. It's gonna be a blast to paint this picture.