Can I get to the starting line?

After some rough weeks dealing with winter and life I am pleased to say that I think I am coming out more focused. I have also somewhat respectably maintained my training mileage and aside from being tired I feel like I have a good base to build on. I would love to say that I lace up and breeze through my runs but…I am still a regular guy that runs and I accept that. Although I am looking at a pretty aggressive race schedule, for me, I will not be thinking about PR’s or finish times during the next eight months. What I will be looking at and focusing on is on a deeper level. Can I follow though with the training? What am I made of? Can I finish? Probably the most important question might be; can I get to the starting line?


I was talking to a very close friend the other day and I realized that if I am 100% honest (with myself more than anyone) I have to ask all of these questions and more. That I have no idea whether I can finish a 50K is irrelevant. What scares me more than anything is committing to the training and seeing it through and showing up on race day. If I can do those things, then what happens after the horn sounds is a bonus. The thought of disappointing others and myself and the commitment of this endeavor scare me more than the actual event. I  believe I have grown enough as a person to accept the challenge and the help that has been offered and go for it. I will admit that I will be thrilled beyond belief to cross the finish before the cutoff time, but I will be more proud and satisfied when I am officially crossing the start line.

Every race coming up is a Trail Nerd event so I am looking forward to a season of fun, challenging trail runs. These include a 10K in March, 2 half marathons in April and May a 20 miler in July and…50K (my CI) tentatively in October. If you are around the Kansas City area check out the Trail Nerds at

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  • Thanks for the linkl. I think I might do that half at Clinton in September!

  • I have felt and thought all the things you describe and still do. I am SLOWLY learning not to judge my thoughts and feelings or to give them meaning other than to learn and grow. I am starting to look at them more objectively and less personally--not letting them mean anything about me and who I am. It's not easy though and it is a continual process...
  • Thank you both! Lori I hope to catch up with you next month as well. It is funny that I always used to think the event/goal itself would be so hard but I know that getting there is where the work lies. This is another reason I am putting myself around people who have been there, to absorb what I can from all of you!

  • Hope to see you end of March! We will have to chat. Keep exploring and keep sharing...learn and grow. This is the toughest part.
  • Yes! Well said! Here's to a great season!!

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